Firsts and...agains

I did a lot of thinking today of my life over the past year. My, how time flies and how change is inevitable. In the past year I've come one year closer to 30; changed jobs...again; seen Mom get very sick and well; finally stayed in a house for a whole year; completed surgery, rehab, and mono; had relationships come and go; and a host of other firsts...and...agains. Although I have accomplished (and I use that term loosely...it's kind of a lousy list really!) quite a bit through the year, it will be marked by the passing of Mom. As I sit here thinking of the agains and of the firsts, I am struck by the thing that is constant through it all. God is here; He is with me. Even through the hardest time of my year, and through the firsts and agains I have learned, and I continue to learn, what it means to rely on God. Relying on God is certainly not easy but, then again, accomplishment without effort is charity...

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9/8/2008

"I hope you had a good sleep last night and that you are ready for today. I guess dialysis today may be stressful especially if you are still having a low grade temp and low blood count. Hopefully the procrit will kick in soon and you will have all sorts of energy. Keep walking so ou can get your strength up and so your hip quits hurting. I hope your pizza tastes great at dinner tonight. You'll have to tell e all about it when I call you.

Today's verse is from Zephaniah 3:16: 'The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He takes great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing.'

Hopefully as you go through today you can claim these verses and find comfort.

Love you more,
Andi"

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9/9/2008

"I hope you slept well last night, that dialysis was good today, and that the blood transfusion made you feel stronger and more energetic. Today's verse is Psalm 121. It's one of my favorites! 'I lift my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you--the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm; he will watch over your life; He will watch over your coming and going both now and forever more.'

So see, even during hospital times when you are afraid or can't sleep, God is there with you. He loves you and is concerned even when you feel most alone. Remember, when we can't be there for you, God is and He loves you most of all!!

Have a great day. I'll call later.
Andi :)"

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Okay, so as I sit here on my birthday with tears streaming down my face, I have to tell you this letter hurts and comforts in a way I almost cannot describe. I am broken with saddness but I remember this about believers:  "To be absent from the body is to be present with the LORD." Today, when I ache over not having Mom here with me, I am suddenly struck by her nearness. Because of that quote, and because the Bible tells me of God's presence, his constant watch and protection, and his longing to comfort me, I can be at peace. Even the fact that I decided to write tonight tells me of God's providence and wisdom. He set tonight in motion two years ago because he delights in me. Happy Birthday to me!